Thursday, 6 October 2011

Direction Unit: Script Edited

I took on Simon's comments and I have edited my script so that it is shorter and there is 1 less character. Here is the edited script:
1.INT.TRUDY'S KITCHEN-night
TRUDY a TIRED SCRUFFY looking mother and KATIE a SMARTLY dressed doctor walks through the door way into a bright yellow kitchen. JESSICA a TRENDY CASUALLY dressed events planner drys her hands on a tea towel and walks over to the LARGE dining table.
JESSICA
You see married men are a no brainer they're bedroom trained, they're low maintenance and you've got a ready made exit strategy. No mess, no fuss.
Jessica greets Katie with a kiss on the cheek.
Hi
KATIE
Hi
Jessica sits down and picks up a glass of wine from the table. Katie takes off her jacket and sits down.
TRUDY
Jess you don't die if you don't get your leg over
JESSICA
Clearly I would have buried you years ago
KATIE
No fighting
JESSICA
Ok. Katie multiple choice sex, love or kids?
KATIE
What can I only have one? Ummm. Love
Everyone pauses
TRUDY
I think someone asked me out today
KATIE
Really
JESSICA
Has a mouth full of wine and so can't speak but has an excited shocked expression on her face.
TRUDY
He's a new dad at school and we got chatting at the supermarket and he said that we should go for a coffee and I went "errrmmm errrmm"
Jessica
What did he say? Exact words
TRUDY
Do you fancy going for a coffee?
JESSICA
He said fancy?
TRUDY
I think so
JESSICA
If he said that he was asking you out
TRUDY
Oh no maybe he said want
JESSICA
Come on woman, think. We've been waiting 6 years for this. Want? Or fancy?

Stands up and takes an empty bottle of wine and puts it on the side.
TRUDY
Fancy
Jessica picks up a letter, with a cheque for £2,000,000 attached to it, from the side and looks at it quickly.
JESSICA
He was asking you out
She reads it properly. Then looks at Trudy.
TRUDY
Really
JESSICA
Walks back to the table and shows Trudy the letter.
Trud. When did this come?
Jessica passes the letter to Katie. Katie studies it for a while.
TRUDY
It came this morning
JESSICA
So you've scored a million and pulled on the same day
2.INT. TRUDY'S HALL WAY - night
Trudy sees Jessica out of the door.
JESSICA
See ya Trud
Trudy walks back to the kitchen.
3.INT. TRUDY'S KITCHEN - night
Katie is standing up still looking at the cheque. Trudy is clearing the table.
KATIE
Why haven't you paid it in yet?
TRUDY
Guilt. I know everything is screaming at me to move on but I still don't know what happened to Paul. I mean what if he is still out there.
KATIE
Thousands of people died in the towers Trudy where else would he be
TRUDY
You don't understand what it's like not being able to say goodbye to him properly ...
KATIE
... It's been 6 years Trudy let it go for christ sake. I'm sorry
TRUDY
Katie. Is everything alright?
KATIE
I've been having an affair
TRUDY
What?
KATIE
For 2 years. He was married. He was going to leave his wife but he got ill and he died last week. 
TRUDY
Oh my god. Why didn't you tell me?
KATIE
I couldn't. I wanted to loads of times and I know it sounds completely mad but I just couldn't
TRUDY
Why not?
KATIE
Because he was my patient and because you would have told me to stop

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